If Wrestling Promotions Were People

*copypasta

TNA is the abusive boyfriend who kicks your ass for months on end then will be really nice to you for about six weeks, then will kick your ass for another couple months and so on.

WWE is the abusive husband who will push you and slap you around most of the time, and once in a while they will kick the shit out of you, but nine times out of ten it's not that bad, plus they used to be really great, so maybe someday theyll go back to being the way they used to.

WCW is like that chick who you've been with for a while but you've never done anything in the bedroom. And when you talk about stuff like that she sorta clams up and acts shy. Eventually she admits to you that she has a dick and she was embarrassed to tell you about it. However you reveal to her that you don't care and that you still have feelings for her. So basically she shows you her dick one day and surprise surprise its bigger than yours but you still don't care and your relationship grows stronger because of it. Then out of nowhere she's hit by a bus.

NJPW is the girl everyone seems to love so you go out with her one day and you like the experience but then things just get sorta boring. You admit that she's fun to be around, you admit that she has lots of great qualities but you just don't want to be around her all the time and you find something else to do.

Lucha is that girl you hook up with now and then and always have a wild time, but you just can't commit to her because most of the time you just don't understand her.

Chikara is the girl next door who is really good with kids and is super fun to hang out with, but will end up getting dumped for someone who is more sexy.

ROH is the girl who used to be really, really hot, with a great rack, a perfect face, a nice ass and a butthole that tasted of ripe peaches, and she's still pretty good, but when you go out with her now it's just not the same. Her tits aren't as shapely, her new glasses suck, she hides her ass under looser clothes and the peaches are sour. She's still better than most, but you still look at her old FB pics and wank to it while CZW is in the bathroom with her fingers down her throat trying to vomit her way to being even skinnier to make people stop talking about how fat she used to be.

ROH is the girl that seemingly every other guy told me was an awesome and hip and hot alternative to the dumb plastic blonde whore that is WWE and the less plastic trashy mallgoth girl that is TNA, but when I actually went out with her it was boring as hell and really not what I was looking for so I went back to the other 2 because even though they were "bad" at least they were within my general area of interest. I kept trying the alternative girl every once in a while and we might have even had a couple of good dates but overall I got bored of her pretty quickly again and went back to get double-teamed by WWE's and TNA's bitch cocks.

ECW 06-10 was like the girl who was full of spark but full of issues coming back into your life, with a little bit of that spark but she'd changed a lot. Maybe she'd grown up and solved her issues or there was an underlying fear that she'd slip back into it.

Osunaarashi Ice Bucket Challenge

Osunaarashi does the ice bucket challenge.


(foto: http://cache2.nipc.jp/sports)